Inner Mysteries...Sacred Fires

The Eight fold Path - Right Effort

2008-05-06T17:34:41Z

For the last couple of weeks i've been pondering the next step in the eightfold path...and actually ...i don't think calling them "steps" is apropos. Steps seem to imply building one on the other and that's not what this is about a'tall. They are more like facets, branches, or even threads of twine made into a rope... none is better than the other none is more advanced than the other or at least that is my understanding at present.

The next portion of the path deals with right Effort:

Samma-Vayama — Complete or Full Effort, Energy or Vitality. Also called right effort or diligence. Consciously directing our life energy to the transformative path of creative and healing action that fosters wholeness. Conscious evolution

How does this apply to slavery? Often the temptation is to equate submission with being passive and lacking in vitality. Nothing could be further from the truth!

consider the following excerpt:

"Without effort, which is in itself an act of will, nothing can be achieved, whereas misguided effort distracts the mind from its task, and confusion will be the consequence. Mental energy is the force behind right effort; it can occur in either wholesome or unwholesome states. The same type of energy that fuels desire, envy, aggression, and violence can on the other side fuel self-discipline, honesty, benevolence, and kindness."**

Within the oncept of Right Effort or Full Effort there are 4 areas where i can apply effort to increase and further my service and state of enslavement in regard to my Owner. In short there are things that i can do to help me obtain the state of congruence wherein i am not struggling in my slavery but have internalized it. Often all of the work and responsiblity for this state is put at the Masters feet - And yes the role of the Master is imperative and huge- however i would submit that we slaves have a role to play in this as well, after all it is a consensual state.

what can i do?
1. i can prevent perspectives that are not conducive to my enslavement from arising within in. This becomes imperative esp. when online. One can read all sorts of things but remember everything we read is not to be applied to our Master's House.
2. i can abandon ideas i already have which are not conducive to my enslavement. This is a hard one, often we have bought into ideas and perspectives so deeply that we do not recognize them as being seperate from us, in short we have made the idea ours. In order to abandon it we must change how we feel and view it. Does it add anything to me? Does it further my growth? Does it have merit?
3. i can arouse (or cause to take root) ideas conducive to slavery that i had not before. This is active learning. There are many resources out there but one of the best will be the slaves own Master. Being yielded and open to learning what the next step is will help a lot in this area
4. i can maintain and perfect the positive states of enslavement i've already grasped. Those concepts, ideas and perspectives we already know can always be refined and shined up a bit. Also if we cease to use them they will tarnish and eventually we'll forget them. Keep using the ideas, keep flexing those slave muscles!

After pondering this i believe that no matter how long one has served ...be it a week or 30 years there is always someplace where we can apply more effort to yield results. There seems to be no real room for stagnation as there is one or more types of effort we can put towards our slavery.

**[taken from http://www.thebigview.com/buddhism/eightfoldpath.html]

Authenticity and misappropriation...

2008-03-30T22:12:10Z

Master reminded me today that it has been some times since i've written here. It's not that my thoughts have dried up...my mind tends to be rather active and refuses to disengage no matter how much i push the off button ~smile~ It is actually the opposite problem. i have been lost in my own meanderings and quite content to remain immersed in my own present joy and contentment. i quite simply have wanted to merely "be" for a moment. a precious state so often run past but one i wanted to bask in. Master has nudged me with the toe of His boot ever so gently...letting me know that it is time to put fingers to keyboard again for more than a mere few words said in passing.

~Kissing His boot~ Thank You Master.

What's been bought to my awareness of late is something less than joyful to speak about. It is something that i have noticed with more and more frequency and something i find frankly disturbing. It is the stealing that takes place in our local communities. i'm not speaking of the stealing of a beloved flogger, or a custom whip. Nor is it the pilfering of a handmade paddle or tawse. No the stealing i am speaking of takes something much more precious... the stealing of intellectual property.

Master recently presented on Mastery and Authenticity, it was a very good and informative presentation (yes i'm biased but it's still true!) on what it is to be Authentic as a Master. How authenticity looks and can be achieved by those who hold that role. One of the facets of authenticity His spoke of was truth in origins. Along this same vein He also spoke about the neccessity of attribution. How important it is to attribute things to the person or persons who taught you. He mentioned Master Bob as being someone who gave Him a fabulous lesson on using a whip. He gave credit to Orpheus for teaching Him the style of fireplay we currently use. As i listened to Master speak i felt an internal "Ashe!" at the truth of His words.

It is necessary to "give honor to whom honor is due" to acknowledge the people who teach us, not because they demand it but simply because it is the right thing to do. Anytime a person is inspired or impressed with a new idea, a new perspective or something that touches another person...everytime someone learns a new discipline or skill set...for each of these Jewels that other person did the digging, the mining, contributed thier blood sweat and tears to that cause. How pressumptuous would it be to appropriate it as my origial idea without so much as a nod in the direction of the person who toiled for that Gem of Wisdom, Inspiration or Skill?

i have heard some people who have amazing depth of knowledge and wisdom in a certain area limit their speaking to one format or another because they are concerned about someone "lifting" thier work and calling it thier own. This work, this baby they birthed through labor and pain...how dare someone else claim it? i have seen cases of information on one website duplicated on another without permission. A FemDom i know had her whole site design stolen by Another. All one has to do is sign up on any email list to see ideas stolen and used with no credit to the author in an attempt to "help others". i' all for the open sharing of information, but honor the author by giving them credit. Respect them by asking permission.

No man is an island, we don't get to where we are on our journey by ourselves. When we acknowledge those who we have learned from we open our hands and hearts to receiving MORE by virture of our authenticity, by virtue of our humility. The next time you're repeating someone elses words be sure to say "yes and i got that from X". The next time someone is praising your wonderful technique mention the person or organization who taught you. It will add a few more point to the plus side of your karmic account.

oops!! Master and Authenticity..no really!!

2008-03-20T23:39:45Z

Greetings!

i apparently got the dates wrong for the conference. It's tonight!! Below is the annoucement:

Fellow Lifestylers, tonight I welcome Master Obsidian to the forum with his presentation of Mastery & Authenticity, which is of importance to Master/Dominants as well as submissive/slaves in the lifestyle. I have examined the material and it is very impressive. Come join us tonight and let us all welcome Obsidian to our lifestyle forum. I would like to thank char for her presentation last night on HIV/AIDS, which was very well presented. Please try to be on time.

==============================

BZ Conference Workshop

Thursday March 20, 2008

[ Mastery & Authenticity ]

Moderator: [Obsidian]

Times: 6pm pst, 8pm cst, 9pm est

Come Join Us

Password "gifts"

=========================

Download the Conference Room

http://www.blackzeus.net/Downloaddirections/index.html

Please follow the directions given and the software is very safe

as far as security.

If you have problems with the download send note to:

Blackzeus61@cox.net

Mastery Authenticity

2008-03-19T01:19:57Z

Greetings!

Master will be presenting in a online conference room on Mastery Authenticity on Wednesday night at 8pm cst

The link: http://www.blackzeus.net/Downloaddirections/index.html

See you there!

Lessons from Gardening...

2008-03-04T17:30:19Z

Driving into work today my mind turned to Authenticity and what that means. Thinking that everyone has a right to be thier authentic selves and how that relates to how we go through the world. How it relates to our relationships and our friends and families. How difficult it can be to not judge or be angry when one person's authenticity clashes witho our own. How can we view this in a more holisitc and healthy way? How can we learn to let go of, or embrace the changes in relationship dynamics without making them about "right" or "wrong" ?

As i was pondering this i thought of gardening. Those who garden may understand that there are certain plants that one should not plant together. Certain plants release sustances that are harmful for thier neighbors. While lettuce by itself grows easily it struggles and even has stunted growth when planted with sunflowers. Is lettuce bad? Are sunflowers horrid? Is one right and one wrong? No, but they do not do well together, they simply shouldn't be grown next to each other.

On the other side of the equation you have plants that are amazingly beneficial to each other. Leeks keep flies away from carrots, Spinach does wonderfully with strawberries. Plants that are "companions" typically aid each other by enriching the soil, providing nutrients that are needed, repelling pests or perhaps just providing needful shade. In short that make it easier for thier neighbors to grow and aid in their flourishing.

i believe that we can view our interpersonal relationships and social spheres similarly. There are people who are toxic *for us*, people whose personalities and life paths are just so oppositional to our own that having thier continuous presence in our life is harmful to our Spirit and Self. That harm may be small or large depending but it is there none the less. That does not make the person bad, evil, or lacking in value. There are likewise people whose very presence in our lives seems to nourish us. People who possess traits that make us better, and bring out the best in us. These are the people the Universe brings to be our companions on this journey, to help us yield the best results from our existances.

We may also want to consider that we may be incompatible with others and have traits that do not bring out the best in them. We may feel the need to remove ourselves from thier lives so as not to stifle or stunt thier growth. Patience while a virtue for instance, can eventually turn into enabling under the guise of love. Honesty can mutate into cruel judgement as well. We may also see that there are some whom we can see the positive results of our presence in thier lives. In those relationships we are companions.

As always i apply this to slavery, in that it is important when seeking a Master (or a slave) that we find the One who is a companion. Whose Mastery style and Ownership style promotes and fertilizes the slave being his/her BEST self. Of course this doesn't only apply to slavery it applies to friendship, and even to biological families. As you look around you you may find the need to do some transplanting.

The Eightfold Path of slavery- Right Vision

2008-01-17T02:58:46Z

1. * Samma-Ditthi — Complete or Perfect Vision, also translated as right view or understanding. Vision of the nature of reality and the path of transformation.

The first step in following the 8 fold path of slavery is to understand what right view is. Within the scope of slavery this "right vision" entails an understanding of what it means to be slave. It is important to understand that by "right" we're signifying whole and complete not right as opposed to "wrong". Part of this being that we should understand what the literal meaning of slavery is. i am not one who is an advocate for redefining a term to make it palatable, especially if the original definition still serves. The current definition of slavery says that slave is : a person held in servitude as the chattel of another, and one that is completely subservient to a dominating influence. Contemplate what these definitions say. What do the following terms mean? servitude, subservient, complete. Choosing the term "slave" as an identifier and/or orientation requires understanding of the meaning just as when one is choosing an occupation we do so based upon the job description not the name.. All slaves are not the same. There is a huge spectrum that can encompass slavery just as there are many types of Doctors for instance. Each M/s dynamic can and will determine their own "speciality". However just as we can not and do not redefine Doctor to mean "one who practices law" we ought to be careful about redefining slavery so that is goes against the very foundation of it's definition.

What is the reality of slavery? i would submit that the reality is that one will be held in servitude - Meaning that the slave will have boundaries that are set by the Master for the purpose of maintaining the position of the slave and that the slave will be completely and extremely compliant and display complete and abject obedience in regard to the Influence of the Master. This may sound a bit extreme however, rest assured these are not my personal definitions based upon some subjective impulse but are the basic definition of slavery according to Merriam Webster. In order to have perfect vision it must be complete. Slavery as a life choice is multi faceted. This may be the largest area of confusion. Slavery goes beyond a scene, goes beyond sexuality. slavery expands beyond the realms of our comfort zones and what's easy. Having a romanticized version of slavery which is only about sex or scening in not complete. A version of slavery in which the Owner is perfect and knows everything and is a mind reader is also not complete. We must embrace reality and not run from it if we desire to embrace ourselves.

There is another element that is to understand the NATURE of this reality. The Nature of the reality is revealed within the 4 noble truths. These noble truths (That there is Dukkah- or suffering, that suffering has a cause, There is an end of suffering, and the path to end suffering) help us to understand that the experience of pain and or suffering within the scope of our M/s dynamic is not a new thing or an abnormal thing. They also help us to understand that there is a to transcend this. The eightfold path can provide that and can aid in our transcending. This is not THE way, for there is no "one true way". Rather...this may indeed serve as a source of illumination for you as you travel the path. Understand that we may or may not reach slave Nirvana (that place where all of our suffering and struggle to embrace our slavery is completely finished), however we always strive for it. We continue to seek and study and follow our path hoping to one day embrace the reality of who and what we are completely with the understanding that Dukkah- struggle or suffering comes predominately from the incongruence between what we are and our conditioning. It is the removal of that conditioning which creates our Nirvana where we live as a mind unbound like fire. This is the reality we seek to embrace. This is one facet of the path.

4 noble Truths...

2008-01-11T00:26:25Z

Master and i are doing a collaborative writing. He is writing on The Four noble Truths, and i am writing on the 8 fold path of slavery.

He has posted the first part of His writing and it can be found in His journal here : http://users.livejournal.com/__obsidian__/7381.html

i will post the first portion of the path shortly....

Bon appetite!!

~Master Obsidian's slave namaste

Emerging soul...

2007-12-28T16:03:28Z

When inward tenderness finds the secret hurt, pain itself will crack the rock and ah! let the soul emerge.
—Rumi

A wonderful holiday...

2007-12-26T15:03:50Z

Christmas eve Master made His famous High Octane eggnog...2.25 gallons of it to be precise.

i drank a scant 1/2 cup of it because He said to allow it to mellow at least over night. Now you must understand this eggnog has so much alcohol in it that it can keep for a year in the fridge without issue. Powerful stuff and the very potent for merri-making...

Christmas morning arose with much fanfare. Munchkins bounding out of bed at 6:30am tearing into gifts. A sleepy Master Bear and mama bear came out into the living room to watch thier little faces light up with joy. Master gave the children tubs of white cotton candy as part of Christmas. They were all gone before dinner time. 4 blitzed out munchkins lay on the living room floor watching videos they'd received for Christmas, i guess having TOO much sugar has the opposite effect...lol

After they opened gifts i thought it might be nice to have some eggnog...

WOW...1 cup and before long i was back in bed snoozing away. VERY good eggnog! i think i drank 3 more cups throughout the day... namaste+ eggnog = bliss. LOL

In the early afternoon we went to visit some friends of ours who had invited us over for Xmas brunch. We had a delightful time, the food was delicious the ambiance and company sublime. These friends are fabulously intelligent and witty. They are also part of our community and we enjoy the times when we can get together with them. The conversation ranged from education, to the Law of Attraction to spirituality to sex. i always come away from our visits refreshed and invigorated. It was difficult to tear ourselves away but we had a Christmas dinner awaiting us...

For Christmas dinner i made a pork roast with pomegranate sauce. Next time i'll make extra sauce to drizzle over the plated slices of meat as well as using bottled pomegrante juice instead of working with the fresh pomegranate and the laborious job of juicing the seeds. Master appreciated the dedication and effort i put into doing it by hand though, and His pleasure made it well worth it :)

Over all Christmas was a success, not stressful at all and i am glad about that. Master enjoyed it as did i. i now turn my face towards the future, i empty myself of that which is past and look forward in serene anticipation to That Which is To Come.

A holiday gift!

2007-12-24T16:40:02Z

The Ten (New) Commandments!

1- Thou shall not worry, for worry is the most unproductive of all human activities.

2- Thou shall not be fearful, for most of the things we fear never come to pass.

3- Thou shall not cross bridges before you come to them, for no one yet has succeeded in accomplishing this.

4- Thou shall face each problem as it comes. You can only handle one at a time anyway.

5- Thou shall not take problems to bed with you, for they make very poor bedfellows.

6- Thou shall not borrow other people's problems. They can better care for them than you can.

7- Thou shall not try to relive yesterday for good or ill, it is forever gone. Concentrate on what is happening in your life and be happy now!

8- Thou shall be a good listener, for only when you listen do you hear ideas different from your own. It is hard to learn something new when you are talking, and some people do know more about certain things than you do.

9- Thou shall not become "bogged down" by frustration, for 90% of it is rooted in self-pity and will only interfere with positive action.

10- Thou shall count thy blessings, never overlooking the small ones, for a lot of small blessings add up to big ones.

*~»§«~*~»«~*~»§«~*~»«~*~»§«~* *~»§«~*~»«~*~»§«~*~»«~*~»§«~*

WISHING YOU & YOURS THE HAPPIEST

Expenditures

2007-12-20T18:09:55Z

This is my note from the Universe for today....

"All expenditures, whether from the heart or the wallet, in the past or present, big or small, can be viewed as either "depleting" or "enriching." "

Really viewing things like this can make a profound impact on how you go through life.

Is it depleting?

Is it enriching?

Makes it profoundly simple....no?

Perfectionist Slave Syndrome

2007-12-13T00:13:52Z

i was recently reading an article on perfection. in it the Author admonished the readers to not seek perfection and to become very aware of dangers of perfectionism. i suppose i would say i had a sort of epiphany at that moment because i became amazingly aware of all the ways that slaves seek to be perfect, and the dangers of perfectionism to the Ms/ dynamic.

Often we can not see the ways that perfectionism effects us because we do not recognize our actions as being perfectionistic. Perfectionism is not merely keeping an insanely immaculate home, or constantly dusting. It is also when you constantly see flaws in yourself and others, no matter how inconsequential they are and feel that "if only THIS weren't here". We may call it an attempt to be "balanced", seeking continual improvement, or just trying to make the relationship "better". However closer examination will often reveal that what's really at play is perfectionism. Perfectionism can literally destroy the joy of slavery, remove the Respect the slave has for his/her Owner, and crack the foundation of the M/s dynamic. When we know what to look for it's really easy to see the insidious seeds of perfectionism. Frequent discussion or contemplation of how things can be better, what's "missing", things that can "improve" are all symptoms of perfectionism. Perfectionism is in a nutshell the idea that nothing is ever good enough. No matter how wonderful, no matter how great, there is always SOMETHING that needs to be fixed. This is a problem because relationships are made up of fallible people (yes even M/s relationships!). We do not serve our Owners because they are perfect...we serve them because they are our Owners and we are intrinsically fulfilled by being their slaves. For example let's examine one of the common things said by perfectionist slaves:

"i'm only trying to make the relationship better" - This implies that 1. something is wrong with the relationship as it currently is, and 2. you can make a unilateral decision to change it. Now the above thinking wouldn't work well in a vanilla dynamic...so why do we assume that it will work in a M/s one?

i think it is important to say at this point that i am not suggesting that growth is not a desired trait. i am also not suggesting that we do not strive to be excellent. However, there is a difference between perfection and excellence. Living an excellent existence is possible...living a perfect existence is not.

i often hesr slaves speak of their Masters or their dynamics in this way, wistfully dreaming of the day that their Owner will be perfect, free from all flaws and THEN this will transform them into the perfect slave.

a small admonition- If your Owner to be perfect in order for you to be their absolute slave...then this is not the life choice for you, because perfection is not a human trait.

Another way that perfectionism shows its head in the M/s dynamic is in the idea that if the Master were just "more" (insert verb of your choice here) the slave would "feel" his/her slavery more. This is problematic because it makes the slaves fulfillment dependant upon the Masters perfection.

So how can we recognize it when the perfection bug is at play? Ask yourself a few questions....

1. Are my concerns related to core values in the dynamic? (if it's perfectionist thinking the answer will be no)

2. Do i find myself thinking "if only THIS were fixed"?

3. Am i never satisfied? Never content in my M/s dynamic or my slavery?

4. Do i compare our relationship to others?

5. i am frequently depressed because of imperfections in myself or my Owner?

What to do if you find that you are suffering from PSS?

1. Understand that you have value intrinsically. It is not necessary to be perfect to prove your worth.

2. Recognize the destructive influence of perfectionism.

3. Live in the now, it is almost impossible to suffer from PSS and be truly thankful at the same time.

4. Learn to live authentically. - Perfectionists are frequently inauthentic due to trying to appear perfect at all times. One cure is to live authentically and transparently. The experience of receiving love, even while flawed can be a great aid in internalizing that you don't have to be perfect.

i hope that this little essay helps someone to see the dangers of perfectionism, and to recognize the ways that it can hurt a M/s dynamic. As slaves our focus needn't be on perfection, only on obedience.

Wisdom Nugget from Master: What can i do for you?

2007-11-06T03:21:09Z

A new thing i will be posting on occasion are "Wisdom Nuggets" Things that Master has said to me, taught me that i am meditating on or have been fertilizer to my soul as a slave.

Today Master shared with me something He was once taught about networking. He said that the goal was to leave people feeling better about themselves than they felt before speaking to you. ask yourself what you can do for the person you are speaking with...not what they can do for you.

How apropos to life and esp. to service! In my interactions i desire to leave others feeling better about themselves. Not to stroke my ego, or my sense of selves but to honor the divine in others. In that vein the question for a slave...is always "How can i serve You".

Thank You Master for giving this girl this to meditate on. It is surely meat for her. Ashe.

Love it, need it, or get rid of it...

2007-10-31T15:40:53Z

Lately i've been doing so rather thorough cleaning of my house. i have children and their stuff can quickly multipy all over the house. i also have a number of interests, businesses and hobbies. Needless to say i had far more stuff than i needed. Many of the things cluttering my home are things i didn't love, didn't need, but was hanging on to "for later". things i planned to give to charity, toys that were broken and neededfixing or information that was fascinating and i wanted to hold onto. When i decided to declutter i decided not to hold onto anything that i didn't love or need. This meant getting rid of stuff, i decided to simply throw it out, not put it in another space to be fixed later, not put it in a bag to be given away later...but to literally just trash it.

As above so below...

Emotionally i have been guilty of this same thing. Hanging on things that at once may have served me well but now are simply soul clutter, which means they're also slave clutter. Anything that would inhibit my ability to be the best slave possible for Master has to go. Ideas, perspectives etc; that i've been hanging onto that are not conducive to the life i am living need to be tossed out. Relationships that are dysfunctional, toxic and unhealthy drain energy and need to be released to the Universe as well. The space internally that is taken up by so much emotional clutter prohibits growth. Just as cleaning one's home can make everything feel brighter, lighter and more optimisitc so too can clearing out emotional clutter. ..it can be a breeze of fresh air for the soul and a relationship. When doing any kind of decluttering i ask 2 questions....

Do i love it? What items in my home do i love? These i need to keep. what aspects of myself do i love and does Master love? These are traits i want to strengthen, deepen enhance.

Do i need it? some things we may not love but we need. Like a vacuum cleaner, or a broom. In life we may have something that we have to keep due to need, it may be a job, or the trait of patience which we don't always love being patient. Be sure to be honest when you're doing this one...sometime we mistake familiarity or comfort with need. They are not the same thing :)

Hopefully as you go through this exercise you'll get in touch with the incredible joy resident within you...let the Sun shine in!

The Quest for the Inner slave pt 5- seeing is not always believing

2007-10-26T17:21:59Z

i enjoy optical illusions...i always have. Trying to focus on what is visually before me and discern whats real from what i'm perceiving is something that holds true fascination for me. Recently i watched a video of an optical illusion featuring a mask that looked like Charile Chaplin. The mask was suspended on something and spun around 360 degrees slowly, as the mask rotated around to the back, it appeared as if the back side was also a mask, in that it looked convex as opposed to concave. i kept trying to force myself to see the mask as concave to no avail. The narrator of the video explained that because our life long experience tells us that noses don't point in they point out, when we see the facial features on the backside our mind makes it appear convex, even though our eyes are showing us something concave. Our brains essentially refuse to accept the reality before us because of our life expereinces. I immediately began to see all sorts of parallels to slavery in this.

i ponder how often what we are perceiving is whats really in front of us, and how often what we "see" is truly an echo of past expereinces. Often our Owners pay the cost for those past expereinces in the form of our distrust, fear, insecurity and doubts. Many time slaves speak of heartache and heart break...of abuses and neglect, of abdonment and rejection by past Authority figures, Owners and lovers. These expereinces color how we view ourselves, our Owners/Masters and life in general. Recently i ran head on into this. Master and i were having a discussion...He pointed out to me that i had an inappropriately intense response to a certain statement. The response was totally illogical as it had little to do with the statement itself but everything to do with what i perceived the statement meant. We discussed this at length in part because i found myself having a very difficult time accepting that it did not mean what i thought it did. my difficulty was not due to lack of desire to see it any other way, much like in the optical illusion i could not seem to force myself to see it other than the way my previous life experiences had told me. i had to choose to believe what Master told me was true above and beyond what my life expereince told me to "see".

Much of overcoming this dichotomy depends on trust. Trust is an issue we can not go around or above and below...but must go through. Do i trust Master? Do i trust myself in begging His collar? Or do i allow my present day to be dictated by a past expereince? Sometimes being a slave requires faith (interesting that it's the evidence of things NOT seen). A faith that puts one in a very vulnerable position, yet, vulnerability is the position of honor for the slave.

Another tool in overcoming this is being teachable. A woman in the slaves group i moderate mentioned docility as a necessary trait for her (By her Masters will). Docile meaning teachable. It is a lot easier to accept what Master says is true if i remain docile, teachable, easily molded and of gentle spirit. In my life "PS" (Pre-slavery) the trait of being stubborn and "sticking to my guns" may have been a needful trait. In the vanilla business world it may still be a good trait. When Master is directing me in a different direction, to a different thought pattern, when He is doing a vision check and realigning my eyes it is time to be docile and easily lead and taught. Instead of leaning on what i think i "see" i may want to lean on what i internally know. As in the optical illusion i "know" that the backside of the mask in not pointing out. I "know" it is concave. When my eyes tell me "look its convex" i must choose my inner knowledge and understand what is real inspite of what i see. When Master is teaching a lesson that flies in the face of all of my conditioning...i must likewise go with the inner knowing. In my pre slave life, in my vanilla job being determined, and unbending may be good traits...in slavery they are not if i am using those traits in my Owners direction. We sometimes resist being docile because we believe we will loose ourselves "Even if my sight is wrong, it's mine and i've a right to it!" of course this thinking is not concious and is not conducive to strengthening the slave within.

Some thoughts to ponder: What i am seeing? Is it real or an illusion based on previous expereince? Am i willing to be docile so Master can retrain my sight, clarify my vision?

Vi Johnson's Speech at Beyond Vanilla

2007-10-04T13:34:39Z

i typically do not discuss politics here, however, i read this on a list i'm on and it was so powerful and motivating. It time for us to stop hiding and being so concerned about what others will think that we give our silent support to those that make WIITWD a crime. Yes, silence is the same as saying it's okay. In real life there is no Switzerland, no neutral corner. you either fight for something or, by your silence, you support the one's that condemn our life choices. Y.you choose. Ashe
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Damn, it feels good to be back at Beyond Vanilla. Before I do anything
else,
I promised my spouse that I would send her regrets to all of you. Jill
loves Dallas and Oklahoma as much, if not more, than I do. She truly
regrets that she could not be with me this weekend. Next, let me say thank
you to all of the Beyond Vanilla committee for inviting me, and the
van full
of stuff I brought with me, back to this great state. It's been a little
too long since I've fellowshipped with the NLA Dallas Family. As a matter
of fact, the last time I was an attendee at Beyond Vanilla, I spent a
little
time standing on this stage talking to ya'll.

It's almost as if the committee members knew that I needed to come home. I
don't know if it's fate, fortune or coincidence, but it seems that when
things trouble me or I feel this tribe is threatened, I talk about it in
Dallas. When new ideas are created and need a incubator, Dallas seems
to be
the place where those ideas are nurtured. Damn near every time Jill or
I got
a wild hair up our .ahem, we have talked about it here in Dallas.
Sometimes
you all talk us out of mischief, sometimes ya don't. Last time you didn't,
she ran for International Ms Leather.

Dallas has a hell of a track record. And it's that Texas influence (not
leather history) that I want to talk to you about now.

A few years ago I was asked to do the keynote for the Master / slave
conference in D.C. Talking about the lifestyle that I love was an easy
thing to do. The speech just about wrote itself. Then . I got an email
from
past NLA-I president Spencer Bergstedt, talking about pending
legislation in
Texas that potentially threatened the lifestyle that we are all a part of.
Spence was asking that our community come together to fight Texas, House
Joint Resolutions #6 and 19. Now for those of you who don't know about
House Joint Resolutions #6 and 19, they were basically anti gay
legislation
which could have allowed the state of Texas to nullify partnership
agreements, civil unions, and contracts between legal strangers. (Remember
that term. I'm coming back to it.) Spence was worried that these contracts
could conceivably include wills, powers of attorney and health care
proxies.

I read both bills, got mad as hell and then rewrote the entire speech.
Resolution 6, died in committee. However . House Joint Resolution 19, also
called the Marriage Protection Amendment, penned by Warren Chisum and
74 of
his colleagues, actually passed the 79th session of the legislature.

Chisum defended his love and marriage bill, "calling it a biblical issue".
Now, forgive me while I take a little detour here, but I've got a
question.
Aren't we a nation founded on the *separation* of church and state?
Personally, I don't have a problem with "marriage" being a "biblical
issue"
as Mr. Chisum put it. All he has to do is get the "state" out of the
marriage. That Mr. Chisum means no more tax deductions, social security
benefits, insurance, or government protections of any kind. If on the
other
hand, marriage is a legal partnership between two people who love each
other, then get the church out of the partnership. Pick one Mr.
Chisum, you
can't have it both ways. Sorry about that little detour, I needed to vent.

Getting back to House Joint Resolution 19: Yes the bill was aimed
specifically at the gay community. But the spatter thrown up by that bill
could have affected not just me as a gay woman, but me as a leather woman.
Spence told me that "legal strangers" (I told you we would come back
to that
term.) is defined by law as any two or more people not bound by blood ties
or the ties of marriage. And folks, that's most of us in *this* room.
Legal strangers is anyone who does not fall into the "One man, one
woman for
the purpose of procreation" , category. In other words folks: *anyone* who
chooses to love differently. Our sexual orientation or gender
identification has little if anything to do with it.

The speech that I telling you all about, was given before the referrundum
came to a vote. So a few months later, I did a little follow up research
because I was curious about the outcome of House Joint Resolution 19. In
November of 2005, that bill lead to a referendum to amend the Texas state
constitution to define marriage aasss a union between one man and one
woman.
And that amendment was *passed* into law by 76% of the voting
population of
this great state. Notice I didn't say all of the eligible voting
population.
*Now*, let me give you the *rest* of the facts according to the Houston
Chronicle. In the 2005 election, 17% of the eligible population of the
state
of Texas voted. I want to make sure you heard me, I said 17%. That's
right,
less than 17% of the population changed the constitution of the state of
Texas. To put it another way, 83% of the people of this state didn't think
their right to love as they choose was important enough to get their asses
to a voting booth and express their opinion. Texans . what the hell
were you
all thinking?

Your neighbor to the north, the other state Jill and I love with all our
hearts, Oklahoma, not only will NOT protect the rights of two same sex
people who love each other, but had the nerve to pass an Adoption
Invalidation Law. This brilliant piece of legislation basically made any
child in, or passing through, the state of Oklahoma parented by a same sex
couple, an orphan for as long as they remain in the state. Now we are
criminals if we love each other AND our children become orphans if we love
them and they us. The good news is: the law was eventually struck
down. The
bad news is: many of the idiots who voted this into law are still in
office.
Who elected these yahoos anyway?

In 1996, the United States Congress enacted the Communications Decency
Act.
This is the piece of law that Barbara Nitke and the NCSF fought all
the way
to the Supreme Court. They argued that basically, because of the internet,
community is impossible to define in order to apply the standards of
decency
that the law mandates. While I understand the arguments posed by Barbara
Nitke and the NCSF, I want to take a step back here. I have a problem with
the implications of the word decency. Who decides what is decent and what
is not. Not just for the greater community but for me as an individual? I
would think that *I* am the best judge of what I consider decent. And I
have the right to enforce that decision by turning off the channel, not
going to a website, bypassing a piece of art *I* deem obscene. Note the
word I here. The decision is MINE as is the responsibility for that
decision.

Obviously, I'm wrong in my thinking. Who decides what is obscene for
me and
the community of which I am a part? The same "ijiots" who declared
that the
breasts of Lady Justice were indecent . my elected officials.

I could stand here for a lot longer than this citing case, after case,
after
case, of infringements to our "pursuit of happiness. The Defense of
Marriage Act, The Clean Airwaves Act, The Broadcast Decency Act, hell, the
Patriot Act. I could talk to you all until you all were as tired of
listening to me as I would be of talking. So let's get to the common
denominator in all of this. All these laws are written, and then voted
onto
the books, by the people WE choose to represent US. These men and
women are
elected into office to represent their constituents, not discriminate
against them: to represent the group who elected them, not their
individual
conscience. We all have a conscience, it helps us to live with honor, and
love with truth and dignity. But, if you want to follow your
conscience and
not the will of the majority, be a priest, not a politician.

And that brings me to the next point, the majority. Webster defines
majority as, "the greater share." That is a lot more than just the vocal
few. I remind you Texans, your constitution was changed by 76% of the 17%
who voted. George Bush was elected to the office of the presidency by just
38% of the people of this country. Are we to allow ourselves to be
legislated out of history because of our own complacency, because we
believe
our one voice, our one vote doesn't count? That's exactly what that 17%
wants you to believe. WE are the majority and WE had better remember that.

In 1936, Winston Churchill said that "The era of procrastination, of
half-measures, of soothing and baffling expedients, of delays is
coming to a
close. In its place we are entering a period of consequences. " That
was 71
years ago. Yes it's about living the lifestyle but it's also about
protecting the lifestyle we live. If we don't, raise our voices, be heard
by our ballots, we just may not like the consequence of our inaction.

In these last few minutes I hope that I've caught your attention. Hell, I
hope I've pissed you off. The right to the artistic expression of our
lifestyle, the right to privacy within the groups that we form to support
each other, the basic right to love who and how we choose, is being
attacked
all over the country, either directly or indirectly. What are ya gonna do
folks?

It's 2007 and we've got one year. One year to stop being ruled
motivated and
manipulated by a small but *very* vocal minority. One year to undo a whole
lot of wrongs. One year to straighten a whole lot of mess. One year before
we have a new deal or old bullshit. The choice is ours. Nitke vs. Ashcroft
proved that one voice can make a difference. Barbara and the NCSF may have
lost the battle, but they won the war, they got our attention.

One voice may cry alone in the wilderness. "I'm mad as hell, and I'm not
going to take it anymore." I'm adding my one voice to that cry. My one
voice makes that cry just a little louder. If we all add our voices, it's
not a cry any more, it's a battle chant. Let's scream loud enough to shake
the walls of government, tell them that they had better listen of be voted
OUT of office. I'm a voice WITH a vote: a leather woman with a voter's
registration card. and I'm going to use it.

How many people in here are registered to vote and exercised that right in
past elections? How many NLA-I members in here can say that all their
leather brothers and sisters are voting? How many people in here can say
that Texas Council of Clubs is registered to vote? How many Mistresses and
Masters in here are registered to vote? How many Masters know if their
slaves are registered to vote? First we make sure we can vote. Then we DO!

Can you see the bumper sticker I'm holding up? It says "Kinky Voter." And
it's going on the back of my car. But just in case someone misses
that, it's
also on the back of my t-shirt. Matter of fact, we need a whole pile
of tee
shirts to say "lesbian voter," "gay voter," "D/s voter," "M/s voter". Make
a bumper sticker. Put it on the back of your car. Make a sign, embroider a
jacket, put it on a tee shirt. It's time -- as a matter of fact, it's past
time -- we stop cowering in fear of exposure and unite with one voice, one
ballot to say "I have had enough of this."

I am a dangerous person in politics. I'm a bitch with a ballot, and I plan
to use it!" ~Vi Johnson

**permission granted to post and repost. **

What Lies Beneath- The quest for the inner slave pt.4

2007-10-01T23:50:32Z

Now that it is known that i can and indeed should be proactive in my slavery, that i have to be willing to dig deep and excavate, relinquishing baggage at the door...i have come face to face with....

FEAR.

my own fear...fear is the largest obstacle to slavery. It is the monster in the Closet or under the bed. It is the Kryptonite that halts us dead in our tracks. It sneaks in and before we know it we think we're in control...when really we're being controlled by our fear.

Let me think about that some more, because i think that's something i need to allow to mentally marinate... When i am attempting to control my Owner, i am being controlled by Fear.

i can recall once hearing that F.E.A.R is "False Evidence Appearing Real" i can think of many times when it is JUSt that. "i'm worried i'll loose myself", "i'm scared He'll become selfish", "what if i give Him my all and He just uses me", "What if He abandons me" and so on and so on. The thing about Fear is that like most organic beings when you feed it, it gets bigger. You feed fear anytime you operate from that place.

Understand that fear is often the byproduct of previous experience (this is why children often have very little fear). What we fear is often not based in our present reality, but based on the memory of some previous hurt or disappointment and our attempts to not experience that hurt again.

There are 3 ways of dealing with fear:
1. Ignore it and hope it will go away (it won't)
2. Try to live with it (incongruency)
3. Look for the gift within it and benefit from it.

If we dig a bit everytime we notice we're attempting to control our Master or Owners then we can over come the fear by *choosing* to respond to it a different way.We can use fear as a tool in our dig, or it can be something we get stuck at, a huge boulder in the way of our uncovering what is beneath it. We can recognize it when it comes up...ask some questions and find ourselves making huge strides in deepening our slavery in the process.

Some questions for dealing with fear:

1. what do i resent or regret? (what do i fear resenting or regretting)
2. What have i been unwilling to change (what change is being required of me?)
3.Where am i in denial or in resistance?
4. What am i unwilling to risk? why?

you are *not* your fear. you do not have to allow fear to control you or your dynamic. As i said a few sentences back you can choose to respond to fear a different way. Yes, this may be a choice in spite of what you feel initially. If you wait until you no longer feel afraid you may never over come it...for no amount of reading, study and mental processing can take the place of actually *doing* it. you can not go around fear, or over it...the only way out if through.
The good news? Fear is but a veil, appearing to be a stone wall. (Remember? "appearing real") Once we go through to the other side we are often amazed at how freeing it is. And we often wonder...why didn't i do this earlier?

Perceptions...

2007-09-18T17:59:45Z

i read this 360 today that said the following i think it is something we can grow upon.

"Reality is what we take to be true. What we take to be true is what we believe. What we believe is based upon our perceptions. What we perceive depends upon what we look for. What we look for depends upon what we think. What we think depends upon what we perceive. What we perceive determines what we believe. What we believe determines what we take to be true. what we take to be true is our reality."
~ Gary Zukav ~

__________________________________

48
THE LAW OF PROJECTION

The Law of Projection states that the film that projects, depicts, and creates the events of one's life story, is stored within one's consciousness, and can only be changed from within. The intimate conversations, attitudes, and the relationship one has within one's own consciousness, is reflected in experiences on the outer screen of life; one is both the camera and projector of his life story.

Those who wish to see a world premier of new and joyous experiences instead of reruns, trash films, soap operas, tragedies, illness and hostilities, must refuse to bring or to allow such films, concepts or images to enter their theaters or be filed into their storage banks. Those who seek out, allow, or enjoy filming such trash do surely fill their cameras with the material that may eventually become part of their outward life. Those who allow only the highest, clearest and the best thoughts, ideas, words, experiences and images to enter their studio shall create and project films that show a life of joy and art.

Mind munchie: play, scene, session

2007-09-15T14:55:46Z

We here various terms in reference to time set aside and utilized to engage in Bondage, Discipline, dominance, submission, sadism or masochism. This period of time devoted to one of these activies may be called a scene, playing, or a session. Each of these terms conveys a different idea and i do not think they should (linguistically) be used interchangabely, because they all convery a different in approach and intent even in the actions are the same.

For instance looking at the definition of each of the terms gives a very different idea:
**note i'm only using the definitions that would seem to apply to WIITWD**

Play: a particular act or manueveur in a game, recreational activity, absense of serious or harmful intent.

Scene: one of the subdivisions of a play,a single situation or unit of dialogue in a play , a motion-picture or television episode or sequence, a stage setting. The place or local of an occurance.

Session:a single continuous course or period of lessons, study, etc., in the work of a day at school, a period of time during which a group of persons meets to pursue a particular activity

Okay, so each of these definitions seems give a very different attitude, motive and intent to the activities taking place.

*Play seems to imply something done casualy and with a measure of frivolity. It's a recreational activity.
*Scene seems to imply something that is done in front of others, for the viewing of others. almost in a role play sense. It can also imply simply where something happened depending on if it's used as a verb or a noun.
*Session seems to imply something that is done with intent to make something else occur either physically, emotionally or mentally. The persons involved are giving themselves wholely to the pursuit.

Of course i've historically only used one term, but over time ive become more aware internally that there is a difference to me and sought a way to express that difference. i'm not suggesting everyone use these terms as i have...this is just food for thought.

What Lies Beneath- The Quest for the Inner slave pt.3 (slave space)

2007-09-13T15:54:07Z

In a previous post i mentioned having a "slave space"

This is a bit different than the "slavespace" headspace one enters into during times of service/sessions when one is totally emmersed in the being, totally engulfed in a very present way in one's slavery.

A slave space is different but it can facilitate this headspace.

What is a slave space? It is a space devoted to the slave, a space where she can go to feelher slavery most accutely, to meditate upon her enslaved state, to focus and ground her energies.

Why have a slave space? For me this is a way of physically carving out a place for my slavery, making room in my life for my slave self to become present and real. To exist on a plane other than the ethereal, other than the philosophical. When i'm struggling i can go to this space, and exhale.

What elements are necessary for a slave space? When you think of creating a slave space, think of creating a sacred space, for these two things are often intertwined. i do not think it needs to be a separate room or a cell. Nothing elaborate is necessary. i suggest having at least one affirmation that pertains to slavery or your M/s dynamic. Have something the resonates with your slavery for all your senses. Some suggestions are A soft source of light (such as a candle), a soft blanket, a pillow, a CD of your Owners voice or of soft music, a journal. If ou're artistic you may want to paint or draw a focal point.

When do i go to my slave space? While i do not think it is necessary to spend time in the slave space daily, it can be helpful esp. after a long day at work, a period of great stress, or even when you've displeased yourMaster. It can serve as a time out space, a sacred space, a resting place.

In the excavating of the inner slave, this is someplace where you honor her existance, you embrace that you have found her, you get in touch with her deeply.

i believe the slave space can be very helpful to the M/s dynamic, esp if the Master adds specfics /directives to it's use, such as the slave needing permission to go there, having to be nude in that space or go through certain rituals.

What lies beneath - The Quest for the Inner slave pt.2

2007-09-04T16:53:54Z

Are you ready?

Have to begun to realize that you indeed are the owner of your slavery? you may be Owned or desire to be Owned...but you alone can own your slavery. This is a wonderous discovery, because what it means is that you are never in danger of the loss of self, for your sense of self is slave. This is a time for very transparent, honest and hard truths. Why do you desire to be a slave? What draws you to embrace this as your identifier? Seeking the title itself means little and is temporal. If you seek the title alone when the "new" wears off of your dynamic you'll find yourself resentful and irritated. Titles mean little without the reality to back them up. Own the process, own the journey. It is easy to pass the buck to someone else. To accuse the Owner of not Owning or Mastering you correctly. Of not "making" you into a better slave. While the Owner/Master does assume responsiblity for the slave, as i have said before, we are not children. We are not animals, we are sentient beings capable of higher reasoning. This means we assume responsiblity for our actons. If i'm not obedient, it's not because my Owner didn't "make" me. It's because i chose not to be.

Now to balance this out, let us also understand that ours is not to lead our enslavement. Sometimes we may jump headfirst into our slavery and we want it all, and we want it *now*! We've read all the manuals, talked to Senior slaves and we want to be the slave of the year right now. If *only* our owners would cooperate! Don't they realize what needs to be done? If they would just be stricter, play us more, add more protocol, do more STUFF...THEN we'd reach the penacle of our slavery! As we go forward in this mental frenzy we put greater expectations on the Master and express greater frustration and disappointment when they don't live up to our expectations. Next we may go so far as to question their Mastery at all. After all slaveX has to eat out of a dogs dish and her owner tattooed His name on her neck...isn't *that* what real slavery looks like? Don't we know best? In the midst of this we say "well i'm not feeling slavish anymore...it's His fault!" could it be...that we have removed our mind so far from what slavery is...that we don't feel it anymore?

This is why we're excavating the slave self...and one can say in the process we're really uncovering the slave soul.

Remember, slavery is about submission. Sometimes in our lifestyle we loose the definition of things as we attempt to redefine them. What is it to submit? for the purposes of slavery i would put forth that these definitions fit:

Main Entry: sub·mit
Pronunciation: s&b-'mit
Function: verb
Inflected Form(s): sub·mit·ted; sub·mit·ting
1 a : to yield to governance or authority 1 a : to yield oneself to the authority or will of another : SURRENDER b : to permit oneself to be subjected to something <had to submit to surgery>
2 : to defer to or consent to abide by the opinion or authority of another
synonym see YIELD

That said, it would seem that submission by definition requires our ability to defer to and yield to someone outside of ourself. So when i'm running around in a tizy lamenting how i'm not becoming a better slave because of Master, perhaps i'd do well to look at self first. To find out if that very attitude is serving Master. Are there M/s couples who are ill-matched? Yes. Are there Masters who take on slaves without realizing the magnitude of enslavement? Most definitely. However often the slaves that have the "He's doing it wrong" mentality, do not question the Owners commitment to M/s...just His method because He's not doing it their way. Let's be honest shall we? If we want things done our way, perhaps we should Own ourselves...or be Dominant and Own others. slavery is an act of trust. We own our slavery, but we do not own Mastery. We do not own our enslavement. We are (or desire to be) enslaved *to* someone.

How do these two pieces fit together? Quite beautifully, we own that we have accepted the mantle of slavery and submission. we have answered and responded to our hearts cry, our souls whispering. we have yielded to the energy of our Owner which compelled us to slavery. And in acknowledging that, we recognize that we have also commited to follow, not to lead. We have committed to being trained, not to training. we have submitted ourselves to a will outside of our own. We are commiting to being servants, to serving with grace and joy. Consider this. Are your actions, and speech conducive to serving?

Today i commit to relaxing in the process. i enjoy the place in my journey where i am. today i understand that my slavery is mine and no one can force it upon me...it is mine to open to this process, to embrace it. today i will be pliable, today i follow Masters lead, i am clay...warm and yielded. Ashe

What lies Beneath: the Quest for your inner slave Pt.1

2007-08-25T15:33:35Z

In order to excavate your inner slave you must be willing to drop the baggage. i spoke of may of these things which are baggage in the pre conference post. In order to move from imitation to authenticity you must relinquish the that baggage that keeps you from embracing who and what you are. you must also have tools. Some of these tools are space, awarenes, being open to change. While i can not map out the journey for you (as out internal geography's all contain different terrains) it is my hope that perhaps something found this series will aid in the journey.

You must go into this open, having some idea of what you're looking for but understanding that you'll find unexpected treasures along the way. Chance can guide these findings of treasures but you must choose to make the trandsformation, to go further, to ask questions and dig deeper. Often we will see something...a quote, an idea hear something that can be a catalyst fror our exploration for our growth. How often do we allow these opportunities to pass us by because we're too busy, or because it will take too much effort to seek out the pearls of truth and layers of wisdom found therein? How often do we let the opportunitity to connhect with other slaves pass us by because we have other things to do. How often do we miss the sense of the Sacred that is present in our service because our minds are skipping ahead to something else. Because perhaps the area in which we are serving is not something that we particularly enjoy, and so instead of using this growth opportunity we all that seed to sit on the surface and never to germinate?

Staying open can be very difficult. We are not children. We are adults with opinions and ideas. We often think we know what we want, where we're going, who we are. The truth of the matter is that for many of us, because our inner slave has been bound and suffocated for so many years we don't really know who she is. We have never allowed her to be free, to be open. To function without our fears, our inner criticisms, our societial ideals. We must be willing to stay open to who our inner slave is, without judgement. So i invite you to stay open. Stay open to the process. Stay open to your Master. Don't be so quick to say "i'd never" ...Before you utter those words take a moment to consider from whence those ideas come. Listen to the voice of your inner slave. Is she submitted to this idea? If you find yourself feeling very negative about something that indicates submission, ask yourself why? Is it because of an expereince you've had? Is it because of what you think it means? Are your ideas concerning slavery congruent with the ideas of your Owner? Where does your definition and ideas of slavery stem from?

Drop help...

2007-08-24T12:11:26Z

After experiencing something as intense as a conference, or an especially profound session one is bound to experience a "drop" whether one is Top type or bottom type.

What is a "drop"?? i define it as that weepy, sad, anti climatic place where your emotions seem to seep from your pores. Where you question everything you did or didn't do. Where everything seems wrong and melodramatic. Everyone experiences "drop" differently. For some people it can begin the day after the scene...for others it may take a few days. It's chaotic and emotionally draining. Below are some things Master and i have found that help. Feel free to add your own tips.

1. Have a buddy: If you have a Master or a sub/slave now is the time to stay close. If not, stay close to a friend or Top /bottom that experienced the same thing you did. Often times they are going to experience the drop as well and being close can help a ton. One of the biggest feelings that prevades "drop" is feeling alone. Remember you are not alone! Reach out and touch someone.

2. Get some rest: Your body and Spirit needs time to rest, to rejuvenate. This is nothing to feel guilty about. Don't try to be superman/woman. Recognize that you need to rest and do so.

3. Eat well/stay hydrated: This is one that Master stays on me about (as well as #2 above) You can not heal without food. Comfort foods are great and warming. Listen to your body. Beware of too much empty sugar which can cause a rebound. Replenishing minerals lost during scening is necessary. Recently a nutritionist suggested Coconut water as one of the best things to drink after a scene (Thank you!!) You may want to try that as well.

4. Supplements: One of the things that seems to help with drop is 5HTP. 5HTP is a natural supplement that is a precursor to serotonin. Studies show that depressed individuals have less serotonin 5HTP is often taken for mild to moderate depression as well. It seems to work far more quickly than St. Johns Wort (you can feel it often within a couple hours). This supplement may work during your "drop".

5. Journal/Blog or be creative: Getting your feelings out of you can be very healing and therapeutic. If you don't want the world to see, use a private journal. Also, any type of creative expression can serve this same goal. Expressing feelings creatively tends to make them less volitile internally and keeps them from exploding all over others accidentally.

**EDITED to add: 6. Go to a sacred space: If you are a bottom type and have a sub space or slave space, i suggest spending time there. If you do not have a set space (i'll post more on this idea soon) consider going out in nature or wherever you go to spiritually recharge. WIITWD has a strong Spirital component for many of us and you can not forget to replenish this facet of you as well.

i hope some of these tips are helpful, and remember "drop" doesn't last forever.

~Master Obsidian's namaste

Black Beat 2007...some thoughts...

2007-08-23T23:21:43Z

i'm finally still enough to comment on last weekends conference...Black Beat 2007. All i can really say is "WOW!". It was absolutely amazing. i have often heard people comment that it is like a family reunion and now i know that is not an overstatement. Master and i had a throroughly good time. Unfortunately i barely scratched the surface of what i wanted to discuss with the slaves in the workshop, so i'll post a series of essays covering some of that information in the upcoming weeks. For those interested just keep checking back. To those who requested protocols information from Master and i, i'll attempt to email that this weekend.

Meeting all of the people who we have interacted with online for years was such a wonderful inspiring expereince.i'm not going to name names because i'll undoubtably forget one or two, but you know who you are. The family W.we never knew we had, the lives that have been touched (you honor me...truly, thank you) and those lives that have touched O.ours. i am still decompressing from all of the expereinces, classes, play parties and afterparties. Finally getting the chance to talk and hug Grandmere Vi touched my soul...i came away with a very real, very profound sense of having been in the presence of greatness, of being with one whose spirit carries the wisdom of the Ancestors. There were so many spiritual expereinces, connections on planes other than the temporal... i feel truly blessed to have been a part of this conference. If you didn't go, you missed out on a marvelous time but not to worry there is always next year!

A Preview...

2007-08-13T00:11:18Z

i've been asked by a few people to post a sort of "sneak peak" into the worskshop i'll be doing at Black Beat this week. i debated not doing this, as i want the workshop to be interactive, not me in the front droning on ad nauseum...lol. i want to hear the hearts and mind of the other slaves present, i want it to be a safe space for sharing. However since i haven't posted in a while and since my mind is thinking about the ideas i'd like to bring up anyway, i'll just post the following food for thought. These are just a few of the ideas we'll be dealing with:

Our inner slave is often buried under years of baggage. We drag this baggage with us everywhere, into our education, into our careers into our service. This is the bondage that holds captive the inner slave. Before we can even get to the business of digging out the inner slave, we have to dig down beneath these layers of sediment to find him/her.

Let's take a look at a few of these items of these pieces of luggage and think hard about them. Even if it's wrapped up in a designer exterior, it's still baggage that keeps us from manifesting our authentic slave selves.

1. Familial upbringing - Perhaps we watched our mothers or fathers brow beaten into submission and we abhore the idea of being like them. Perhaps our mother or father was overbearing and domineering and so we have a corrupted idea of Dominance. you, dear heart, are not your parents. Just as it is a travesty for a parent to attempt to play out thier life through their offspring...it is equally tragic for progeny to not bodly and with great passion embrace who they are for fear of being cast in the same mold, or for fear of not living up to the expectations of thier parents. you are a unique creation...give yourself permission to put this piece of luggage down...you'll notice you stand straighter and have a lot more clarity without it.

2. Social cultural norms - Depending on what nationality you are and where you're located on the globe it is quite likely that your society does not support your being submissive, more or less slave. As a female of color i was raised in a dichotomy the religious metality of being submissive with the cultural norm of being rather dominant. The incongruency this caused within my life was painful. When i took charge of situations and relationships i was not fulfilled and was saddened that the men/boys in my life would allow me to be in control. When i behaved submissively i felt like my culture frowned up their noses at me, and besides...how can you submit when there is nothing to submit to? i struggled with my inate need to submit and the pressure to be like all the other WOC (women of color) around me, who seemed to lead thier families with an iron- beautifully maincured-fist. i knew i'd be viewed as weak or worse. i didn't want to fight within my own culture ('After all we've been through as a people, how can you call yourself a "slave", 'make sure you always leave a little something on the side in case that man acts a fool!') Eventually i realized it's my life...i don't have to explain my choices, i don't have to defend my need to be myself.

3. shame - what is wrong with me? why do i need to submit? why do i need to be owned? This must be evidence of some internal flaw...otherwise i could be just like everyone else....right? Wrong. Those things which hold the most value are not common to man. In our "me, my and i" centered society how rare is it to find someone who gets joy...true joy in service to another person? How many people have the courage to live authentically? To be who they truely are inside? When you choose to embark upon this journey of slavery, you are choosing just that. To be an explorer, a servant, a vessel, a confidant. What an honor for the Universe to have chosen you to occupy that role in someone's life for whatever amount of time you do, be it for a week or a lifetime. There is nothing wrong with you, in fact i would daresay that if we had more servant hearts in the world it'd be a far better place! shame is caused by guilt, feelings of shortcoming or impropiety. In case no one ever said this to you before, i will say it now:

*Finding your joy is pleasing Another is not something to feel guilty about.

*Living your life in service to Another is no shortcoming.

* To be improper means you are not doing something in accord with fact or truth. When you live your life as the slave you are inside you *are* living your truth. Therefore there is no impropriety. :)

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This is actually just the tip of the iceberg, but i don't want to give away too much :)

See you at Black Beat 2007!

~Master Obsdian's namaste